Girl-Watching
by brighttalonrose
Summary: Okuyasu finds Hazamada up a tree, and joins him to discuss women. T for Haza's swearing.


Okuyasu's walking home from school when he spots movement in a nearby tree. He saunters over to investigate and squints up through the branches. "Hazamada?" He addresses the little black shape.

Hazamada fumbles his binoculars and leers down at him. "Don't talk to me!", he hisses. "You'll blow my cover!"

Okuyasu glances around. There's no else on the road. He looks back up the tree. "What are you doing?"

"None of your business." He looks back through the binoculars. "Go home."

Okuyasu thinks for a second. "You're girl-watching, aren't you?"

"No." Hazamada says. _Just go away already!_

"I mean, you don't seem the type to be interested in bird watching."

"What are you talking about? I'm an avid avian." He tries to cover.

Okuyasu's brow furrows. "I think that means that you _are_ a bird."

"Whatever!" He sneers. "You know what I meant." He shimmies further up the branch to get a better look.

"So, you _are_ girl watching?"

Hazamada lowers the binoculars and sighs. "Are you going to hit me?" He frowns.

"What?"

"If I say yes, are you going to hit me?"

"No." He frowns. "Why would I hit you?"

"Because that's the natural order." He looks back out through the binoculars. "Guys like you hit guys like me."

"Is it?" He takes a second to think. "Huh." He scratches his head and looks at the ground. "...Can I come up?"

"What?" Hazamada startles. "Uh, yeah, I guess so." He says skeptically.

"Cool." Okuyasu starts to climb. The lowest branches are just barely reachable. "How did you even get up here? You're like, three foot nothing."

"I jumped."

"Bullshit." He grunts, trying to get a foot hold on the trunk.

"It was a good jump." He mutters.

Okuyasu sidles over onto Hazamada's branch. "So, where are we looking?"

Hazamada hands him the binoculars. "Third house from the end of the street." He points. "Top rightmost window."

"Ah, right." Okuyasu recognizes the girl from school. She keeps changing outfits, trying to decide what to wear out. "So that's your type? A little big for my liking."

Hazamada shrugs. "I don't have a type, but I don't approach the skinny ones anymore. They're all self-entitled bitches." He scoffs. "Besides, you'd have better luck to move in on the ones that have image issues."

"Sick, but true." Okuyasu nods confidently with all the knowledge of women he doesn't have. "How's that working out for you?" He hands the binoculars back.

"How do you think?" Hazamada gestures to himself.

Okuyasu shrugs. "You could always put an ad in the paper. I see them all the time. 'Single and searching', or something like that."

"Yeah, sure." He rolls his eyes. "'I need a date, any girl is fine. Toshikazu Hazamada. Also answers to 'Hey, you! With the beady eyes!' or 'That shifty looking kid over there.' No thanks." He scowls.

"I'm just saying. It's an option."

"Yeah, but what if my Aunt saw it or something?"

 _He doesn't live with his parents?_ "Speaking of which, won't she be worried that you didn't come home from school?"

"I left her a note this morning." He nestles into the crook of a branch. "She knows where I am."

Okuyasu blinks incredulously. "You mean she knows what you're doing?!"

"Yeah. She said so long as I'm outside, and I'm not harassing anyone or destroying anything it's fine. She told me not to get caught, but Moiroh has, what, 3 police officers?" He smiles confidently. "I'm not worried."

"Weird that she's fine with it, though."

"Yeah. Apparently she used to go guy-watching, back in the day."

"I never considered it'd go both ways."

"Yeah. Surprisingly, girls are people too. Who knew?" Hazamada shakes his head.

"Now that I think about it, I overheard some of the girls talking about breaking into the guys' locker room the other day."

"No doubt to see Josuke, or some other jerk." He sneers. "Speaking of which, he's usually with you. Where is he, not that I care."

"Home sick. Caught a cold the other day and can't use his Stand to heal himself."

Hazamada laughs. "Serves him right, the bastard."

"Oh yeah! I was supposed to give him his homework. I'd better get going."

"Go, then." He waves a hand.

Okuyasu turns to jump, but hesitates and turns back to Hazamada. "See you around." He smiles.

Hazamada's eyes narrow. "Uh, yeah... See you." He looks away. _He doesn't seem so bad after all._

Okuyasu jumps out of the tree, and heads off towards Josuke's. _He doesn't seem so bad after all._

 _A/N: These two never actually interact in the manga, do they? I think they'd get along okay, so long as Josuke's not around._

 _And I haven't given up on Hell. I've just been doing other things._


End file.
